At some point in a long-term relationship, most people have a moment that quietly startles them: You feel a spark with someone else. A coworker. A friend. Someone at the gym. The barista who made eye contact for 1.7 seconds longer than normal, and now your brain is writing fan fiction. Immediately, your nervous system […]

Mike, a client, was in my office last week and we were talking about the negativity bias that we humans have; the hardwired part of our brain that seems to seek out the negative.  He mentioned that when he’s driving, he notices and reacts to every red light.  Mike laughed while talking about his brother-in-law who […]

After so many years, we become self-appointed “experts” on our partners.  Some of our “spouse-ologist” duties include finishing their sentences, talking over them because we already know what they’re going to say, and being absolutely certain about their intentions and motivations.  I used to excel at this. After so many years, we become self-appointed “experts” on […]

Ahhh…Romantic love!  It sells millions of roses, cards, bottles of wine, and sexy underwear 🙂  What else do you think of? Being barefoot in the Park? Making love under the soft glow of the moon  on a balmy tropical beach? Whatever it is…Romantic love means something different to all of us; it’s totally personal, just […]

Whether it’s our romantic relationship, at work, friends, or the relationship we have with ourselves, our relationships have patterns and phases, and recognizing them is the key to keeping them healthy and lasting. Romance The first phase in any relationship is romance. In this case, “romance” simply refers to the newness and novelty of a […]

There are 2 roles in a conversation, the speaker (they who are talking) and the sender (they who are listening). Both roles are important, and both roles need to happen in a conversation. If you are the one starting the conversation, first… Ask for an appointment We’re all in our own heads at any given […]