We’ve observed that there is frequently (more than frequently, really) a connection between our painful patterns in adult relationships and our childhood experiences.  We also tend to  choose partners who share some qualities with our caregivers, so it makes sense that we might recreate some of these old frustrations! This might look like an adult who repeatedly finds themselves with partners who have high expectations that they aren’t ever able to live up to.  This person might have been raised with parents who tended to “constructively criticize” them as a child.  You might get involved with partners who are a little absent; maybe they have time-consuming hobbies or a really demanding job that leaves you spending lots of evenings alone with your cat.  It would make sense that one of your caregivers might have felt inaccessible to you (emotionally or physically).

When these situations come up repeatedly with a partner (or partners), it can feel hopeless. If we’re between relationships, we wonder why we continue to choose the “wrong”  people.   In a committed relationship, we ask, “why do we keep having the same fights over and over again?” If this sounds familiar, Imago therapy is for you!  

We’ll work together to map out an understanding of where these recurring frustrations come from.  You’ll start to see these “red flags” as an invitation to grow into your most authentic adult self.  If you’ve come for couples  work, you and your partner will begin to understand the dance you’re stuck in, and more importantly, you’ll discover a way out of that dance.  If we’re working on your individual experience, you’ll gain insight and compassion into your own relational patterns.